Lexy Thomson Trybal Performance

How to develop EQ through a gratitude practice with Lexy Thompson of Trybal Performance

Leadership is an art and a science – and you need to know the science before you can paint the portrait of success.

We like to bring guests on the show with different specialties to really give us the expertise to help us grow in ways we may not have already considered. So we are going to talk about some things that you’ve probably not heard before.

To bring the very best out of our workforce, we need to bring the very best out of ourselves. In order to do that we need to be grateful for who we are, the positions that we hold and the responsibility to our workforce. So that is what we are going to talk about today.

Our guest today is a Senior Leader in Conflict Resolution, Executive Coaching, and Entrepreneurship, she has expertise that allows you to achieve measurable results through cutting edge solutions in communications and organizational development.

She is a visionary leader, and specializes in communications strategy. She is the founder of Trybal Performance, she is an accomplished author, and speaker. Coming all the way from the Lone Star State.


  • Background on Trybal Performance
  • Lexy’s philosophy of a ‘Trybal Attitude’ and the ‘Power of Abundance’
  • Gratitude Practice
  • How does keeping track of gratitude help with self-reflection?
  • How do you maintain gratitude if you’re having a hard day through pattern interruptions?
  • How important is emotional intelligence in gratitude practice?
  • Lexy’s suggestions for those wanting to develop a gratitude practice
  • What if you don’t enjoy journaling?
  • What’s the best way to reach Lexy and talk about gratitude practice?



Background on Trybal Performance

Trybal Performance is two and a half years old – it’s the second consulting firm that Lexy has taken on. She is the Founder, but has many contributors across the business.

Lexy spent a lot of time thinking about the naming of her company and in fact the name came to her at 3AM one morning when she woke up from sleep! The word Trybal both represents the work she does with teams in organisations, but also the fact that in Leadership, it’s also about the idea of ‘try try again’ because before every success comes failure, and before every failure comes trying.

The word ‘Performance’ represents the notion of moving the needle, making incremental improvements within your leadership team.

Lexy’s philosophy of a ‘Trybal Attitude’ and the ‘Power of Abundance’

Lexy often gets pushback on her stance of starting from a platform of abundance which underlies all the work that she does. Our landscape and our world today offers many examples of why this may not be true.

The ‘Power of Abundance’ concept is more about the idea of the attitude you bring with you. Lexy starts everything from what is right and what is possible, not ignoring the pitfalls and failures, but instead starting with what is right and positive within our organisation before we look at what is wrong and negative.

This positive, ‘Trybal Attitude’, is a strategy for success that is about overcoming challenges rather than shying away from the intimidation of the rights and the wrongs within our organisation.

Gratitude Practice

The simple practice of every day expressing what you are thankful for. Sometimes, in Lexy’s experience, it can be as simple as being thankful for getting through the day! It’s not about rose tinting all of our experiences, but it’s about acknowledging where you are, how you are, with whom you are, within that moment.

Being a leader is taxing – it can often seem to be about nothing more than
Results! Results! Results!’

The opportunity to celebrate with your team can often be missed. But taking the time to observe and celebrate successes, call out those responsible, look at opportunities to improve and look at lessons learned – all within the framework of gratitude – creates a platform for positive reinforcement.

The simple act of rating your day from 1-10 can allow you the opportunity to analyze your day and think about what you can do better in future.

How does keeping track of gratitude help with self-reflection?

From Lexy’s own experience, by going through her journals where she documents gratitude at the start and end of every day, she can recognise moments of momentous personal growth. This is extremely rewarding.

Reflecting on life events can engender pride in yourself, as well as offer insight on where you need to pivot within your life or work to make improvements in certain areas.

How do you maintain gratitude if you’re having a hard day through pattern interruptions?

Lexy has a tool that she uses a lot in hard times. Often in times of frustration or anger, it can create a spiral of emotion that can turn bad very fast.

She creates pattern interruptions. One of them is what she calls a ‘structured venting session’ in order to purge emotion about a particular event or circumstance. She uses an egg timer to give herself (or her kids!) a minute to scream, cuss, and get the emotion out.

This allows you to settle in to what is really going on behind the noise as well as creating a pattern interruption to give you the opportunity to look at the reality of the situation, unencumbered by your immediate emotional reaction.

Another tactic she uses when dealing with a particularly difficult person or situation is to ask herself ‘why would a good and decent person behave this way?’ By forcing yourself to ask this question, you create a curiosity in yourself and avoid the spiral of emotion.

Failing that, you can also remove yourself from the situation, which is also fine to do.

How important is emotional intelligence in gratitude practice?

Gratitude is the door into your EQ, says Lexy. It’s something that anyone can build – just like muscles in the gym.

Slowing down long enough to reflect and appreciate and be grateful for things in our life, it creates self-awareness. By developing self-awareness we can move towards a place of self-love’, and then can start looking at performance, impact, and tools and systems to build our EQ.

Self-awareness is one of the major keys to being a successful leader. So by reflecting on gratitude, we develop that self-awareness that leads to growth and impact.

Once you begin to develop your EQ, you naturally become more aware of others and what’s going on around you. This will inevitably improve your opportunity to have impact and influence people and situations. It allows you to be more generous, compassionate and forgiving and so on.

Lexy’s suggestions for those wanting to develop a gratitude practice

Some of Lexy’s favourite actions to creating this practice are:

  • Journaling as was mentioned previously – this is the core piece. It can be digital or on paper – it’s all about getting your thoughts out in some tangible form.
  • Writing thank you letters – extending the gratitude that you’re feeling internally to others and into the world
  • Gratitude walk – this is also a pattern interruption. It can be as short as a loop around the office, but by getting up and giving yourself time to reflect on a bad situation and look for what you are grateful for inside of it can give you the opportunity to learn rather than lose.

By consistently journaling, you begin to develop a level of self-awareness that illuminates patterns or behaviours that indicate when you need to make a pattern interruption. Even before the emotional spiral begins to take place.

What if you don’t enjoy journaling?

Another option can be to journal in audio. By talking your thoughts through rather than writing them down, you can get the same benefit through a medium that works for you. This can be as simple as recording voice memos on your iPhone, or having a dictaphone in your car.

What’s the best way to reach Lexy and talk about gratitude practice?

You can reach her on lexy at trybalperformance dot com

On Twitter: @alexsysthompson

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trybalperformance